Forever Partly Yours
by Les Torchwood24601
Summary: Grantaire comes home to an empty apartment. Established E/R. References/Mentions of alcohol and alcohold abuse.


**I hope you enjoy reading this! As a warning, I cannot create linebreaks on my phone, so there's supposed to be a break between paragraphs 3 and 4. Also, if you see any typos, please let me know!**

Grantaire stumbled into his apartment just past midnight with an empty bottle clutched in his hand. Expecting to see Enjolras asleep on the couch with a book on his lap, the heavily intoxicated man was surprised to see no Enjolras at all. Instead, he saw a piece of paper tacked to the fridge. Grantaire lifted the paper and scanned it, hoping Enjolras was just out for the night, but that was not the case.

 _Goodbye, Grantaire._

 _I can't love you right now. I can't keep going on like this and I'm sorry. This is for the best. I need time alone and you need time to get sober. I can't be around you when you drink. I can't deal with you when you're drunk all the time. It puts too much stress on me. When you fix your problem I will come back, but for now I need my space, and honestly, so do you. Maybe you can finally get back on track if I'm not around to distract you. Maybe you'll finally find your way. You are so full of potential, Grantaire, but you're wasting it in favor of drinking. It's not right. Just put the bottle_ down _for a while. I know you can do it. All you need is a little push, and I hopefully just gave it to you. You know, you deserve so much better than me. I can't even say goodbye to your face. Maybe I won't come back. Maybe this means we should go our separate ways. I don't know, Grantaire, I honestly just don't know. What I do know is: whether I come back or not, I will always miss you and I will will always, always,_ always _love you. No one can ever replace you, Grantaire._

 _Best wishes, Enjolras_

After reading the note, Grantaire crumpled it and threw it across the room. Tears blurred his already foggy vision and he felt utterly helpless. The drunkard was frozen in place, feeling as if his heart was torn from his chest. He stood for what seemed an infinite amount of time until he finally grew tired. Only after he climbed into bed, fully clothed and holding onto a bottle as if for dear life, did Grantaire fall into a restless slumber filled with misshapen dreams of a certain golden-haired god.

Grantaire was sitting at a small table in Jehan's apartment waiting for his friend to come back. His mind was filled with many emotions about what he was soon going to do, but he had a sense of finality within him. Jehan was back soone than Grantaire had wished and gave the sitting man a thoughtful look.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" the poet asked.

Afraid that his already meager resolve would break if he spoke, Grantaire simply nodded. Jehan sighed as he placed a piece of red stationary and a pen in front of his friend and walked a short distance away.

For a few minutes, Grantaire stared into space, until he decided it was finally time to put pen to paper.

 _Dearest Apollo,_

 _I saw you today. I know you saw me, too. You can't deny it. You stared right into my eyes but you ignored me. Do you know how much that hurt me? You completely ignored me. You treated me just like any other stranger. A_ stranger _, Enjolras. After all we went through, you act like you don't even see me. I've been trying to hard for you, Apollo, but now I know how you really feel. I know that you know that I've been sober for a month. Combeferre said he had told you. You could've come back to me like you said, but you didnt. I had so much hope. Maybe you moved on, I don't know, but I have to let you go. You'll always hold a place in my heart and I don't think I could ever love anyone else like I loved -_ love- _you. I love you and I miss you, my beloved Apollo._

 _Forever Partly Yours, Grantaire_

Grantaire capped his pen, finding closure as he did so. He could now find a future where he could be happy. A flood of emotions rushed through him, a mixture of anger and relief, which left him hysterically laughing. Soon, however, the laughs turned to sobs. Hot years streamed down his face as he felt Jehan hug him from behind. Grantaire calmed down knowing that his friends would be there for him. With the help of his friends, he could possibly put himself back together. Maybe, one day, Grantaire could be happy again.

* * *

 **So, this is my first fully finished fic. I hope you all enjoyed reading it! If you have the time, please leave a review! Each one means the world to me! I'll be posting more fics as soon as possible!**


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